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| Silent Yearning |
Chapter 8: Reunion
By the time of twilight dark clouds had shifted in front of the setting sun and the inflamed sky. By now it got darker sooner. The days became shorter and gave way to the longer and darker nights.
Oscar�s assumption was confirmed. It began with tiny droplets that settled down on her coat sparklingly. Then they turned into round drops which pattered on the ground loudly. Her usually curly hair became wet and formed flat strands of hair that lost any shininess and hung in her forehead heavily. Oscar pulled her coat tighter to her body and pressed herself closer against the grey house wall.
The last time she walked through the lanes of Paris with such a rain, she thought Andr� was buried in a church forever. Destiny wanted it another way; she stood at this scarcely lighted corner in the rain, at the end of the Place de St. Michel, to finally find certainty.
One of Alain�s friends told them that he saw Andr� many times there at night. He either had his accommodation close-by or he regularly had to locate a place in this area.
Why did Andr� hide from her? While he was more than 20 years at her side. Automatically she had to think back to Madame de Polignac�s desperate try to get rid of her. The conniving countess manipulated the chandelier at the queen�s staircase. When the heavy chandelier loosened from the ceiling and almost struck her dead, Andr� risked his life to safe her from the chandelier that rapidly fell to the floor.
Together they fell down the stairs, and up to this day Oscar did not forget the strength of his arms when he held her so that she would not suffer too many bruises as a result.
For a short moment Oscar allowed herself to smile and in so doing to look up to the sky. For a short moment she allowed herself to think of past times, in which all her behaviour seemed right to her.
For hours she had been waiting by now. Her foot impatiently knocked at the floor. Moisture soaked through the solid leather of the high boots. The coat did not protect her from moistness anymore. Shirt and pants were glued to her body. Since it had started raining, hardly any people were still seen on the place. Her hope receded from hour to hour.
But she knew why she was waiting here and she would not give up. Although she still could not explain why he was hiding from her.
�Notre Dame strikes midnight,� Jean-Luc said and finished his last preparations. �We get going, Grand!� With these words he attached the dagger to his belt.
Grand let his disappear in the right boot. Before night befell, the two left their shared accommodation in one of the poorest quarters of Paris. After that they always crossed the Place de St. Michel to get to Robespierre. That is where they would receive their orders. Grand was aware of the fact that Robespierre would one day just drop him and throw him away like a pack of cards used too often. And then he could count his remaining days on one hand. They left the dark room together. Another sparsely furnitured room followed until they finally went out-of-doors and were surprised by the rain.
Without noticing it both grimaced. For the moment an amusing sight, but they followed their serious thoughts again quickly and wended their way.
�How much do you know about tonight�s order, Grand?� Jean-Luc asked like almost every night. The answer varied, sometimes Grand nodded, sometimes he shook his head. It always entirely depended on how much he overheard from confidential conversations. Jean-Luc knew that his silent attendant eavesdropped from time to time when he and Robespierre or other powerful people deliberated. But Grand by no means got all that was going on. He hated himself for having to eavesdrop. The long years in the Jarjayes� mansion as invisible companion at Oscar�s side had taught him discretion. In addition to that it contradicted his sense of honour to eavesdrop at closed doors like a mean spy. Yet, what does he still need his honour for? He did not know what he wanted to overhear. He only knew that he had to safe Oscar. A couple of things Jean-Luc would tell him anyway, either out of anger, out of boredom or to torture him, because he suspected how many of Robespierre�s courses of action tortured his conscience. Himself driven by egoism and selfishness, his silent partner disgusted and fascinated him. He could feel Grand�s dislike. An idiosyncratic unselfishness for a cause that Jean-Luc did not understand drove Grand to obey Robespierre unresistingly.
Grand only shook his head that night again.
�I tell you�� thus Blond pointed to the right with his hand, so that both turned right into the alley. �Robespierre has doubts about the loyalty that the former finance minister Necker shows towards the people. He believes that Necker will betray him soon and turn against him. Reportedly he already summoned his own supporters to seize the crucial chance and perform a coup d��tat. Necker is supposed to have connection with a man who by all means is in a position to accede to the thrown.� He breathed deeply and looked around so that he could be sure to be unobserved. �We are supposed to burgle his mansion tonight and to make sure whether the rumours are the truth.�
Grand could imagine who the one in position to take over the thrown was. The Duke of Orl�ans speculated for the crown too long and compared to the Duke, Robespierre appeared downright nice.
Grand halted imperceptibly. Without being able to call a spade a spade, his heart started to beat faster suddenly.
Indeed his instincts were awakened. Grand and Jean-Luc came in Oscar�s field of vision. It was too dark to be able to recognize the faces precisely but they attracted her attention. Oscar pressed herself against the cold house wall in order to remain undiscovered from vigilant eyes. Both moved quickly over the dangerously slippery pavement and seemed to know their destination well. When they passed a lantern, Oscar could recognize Jean-Luc�s face for a short moment and remembered the day at the Bastille. She knew well that Andr� was with him. For that purpose she did not even need to catch sight of his face. She felt his presence. It was time to follow them.
Walking briskly Oscar freed herself from the shadow of the lane and walked over the place. The haunted ones took the path towards the Louvre, former royal house until the 17th century. Louis XIV, the so called Sun King, then in 1661 had his hunting lodge Versailles expanded as the new residence of the Bourbons.
Rain did not seem to end that night. Slight wafts of mist raised from the underground and made Paris appear eerie.
As empty as the streets were, Oscar felt inside. When she had passed the Louvre and dived into a residential quarter of Paris again, she suddenly got scared. She had lost sight of the two men. In front of her an empty street loomed on which she stood motionlessly.
Helplessly she looked around, but the darkness had swallowed them.
Jean-Luc had noticed the follower and therefore had to make a detour. His attendant showed no impulse when he chose a new direction, also he did not want to know the reason.
�Grand, I have to ask you to get rid of our unpleasant attendant!� Jean-Luc suddenly said when they left the Louvre behind. �Whether you kill him or not is up to you. I just want to know that he is no longer behind us. I rely on you!� With those words Jean-Luc moved along determinedly and left behind a surprised Grand.
He felt her since Point de St. Michel. At the Point au Cange he saw her shadow, at the Rue des Lavandi�res she disappeared from his sight. It was the same tingle that took hold of him at the first re-encounter in the Bastille. But that his partner spotted her as well surprised him. But he could not change that now. He had received instructions and he had to follow those. His coat waved through the air, when he disappeared between two houses.
Her steps became slower, almost reverent. Every progress had to be reviewed precisely. Oscar turned into Rue d�Arbesec. Soon the Louvre would be seen. The street was indeed clear, but the night was gloomy. You could easily hide in a shadow and waylay someone. She held her rapier more firmly. The cold handle had a calmative effect. Oscar went over to the houses and pressed her back against the wall again. She looked to all sides and felt how the drops of the rain ran down her cheeks and left their wet mark. She thought that it solely was the rain, but in fact it mixed with cold sweat. Fear of another disappearance of Andr�.
Her fingers tried to find halt at the wet house walls when she leaned to the side in order to assure that nobody lingered in the byroad. She did not notice how candles in the big lanterns extinguished slowly and one after another. They had done their part for that night. When Oscar saw that no one was in the alley, she breathed a sigh of relief mutely.
But suddenly she felt a severe thrust in her back that forced her deeply into the narrow alley. An arm was being put around her shoulders and held her back. The other hand of the attacker dig with its fingers into her coat all the way to her clothes at her back, in order to restrain her. For a moment Oscar was too petrified to defend herself because she did not expect a sudden attack. Any other attacker would have felt her scabbard painfully in their pit of the stomach by now. But why should she? She found him.
�Andr�,� Oscar whispered and hardly drowned out the noisy ripple of the rain. The grasp around her loosened. Her shoulders were gripped rigorously and then she was turned around. Will-lessly she let her attacker brush her against the house wall and held her arms captive. She smiled and searched for Andr�s gaze.
�You will never follow us again! If you do, you will die! This is not a game!�
His voice sounded harsh and his words hung terrifyingly long in the air. Her smile faded. Horrified, she stared at Andr� because in his face she could only see hatred and agony. Love seemed to have faded away from his eyes.
�But Andr�?�
His stomach spun around. For how many years had he yearned to hear Oscar vocalize his name that way. To feel the love in her gaze.
�Andr�, I knew I have not erred. But I don�t understand this. Why are you hiding? Come with me!� Oscar acquired new hope now that she had found him. Deep inside she knew that he could never stop loving her just like she could never stop loving him. Why was he discouraged in such a way, although they had each other again.
Andr� comprehended that she did not understand what this was about. She did not understand that she was putting herself in danger. How could she? He had to convince her of something that even broke his own heart.
He maybe had to pretend that he didn�t love her anymore, but only that way she could survive. Thus Andr� let go of her. He looked into her eyes for a long time and he remembered that he had prayed day and night to be allowed to see this sparkle just one more time.
�Andr�!� Her voice became incisive. �What happened to your promise to never leave me. In the forest you swore to stay with me forever.�
Andr� forced himself to be calm. �Go home, Oscar!�
�Why Andr�?� Her voice was not more than an unbelieving whisper. Her eyes helplessly searched for an answer in his. An answer that did not exist. By itself her arm lifted and her hand was laid affectionately on his cheek.
Unnoticedly she grasped into her pocket and pulled out a silver necklace that she imperceptibly put in his pocket. He seemed to not have felt any of that, but he would find it in there later. He thought he could feel his blood running through his veins ardently when he felt her cold fingers softly on his face.
His stomach tightened painfully. Fitfully he jumped back and brought safe distance between him and Oscar. His eyes narrowed.
�Go home, Oscar and don�t ever try to see me again. I DON�T WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN!�
Andr� turned away quickly so that she would not see the lie and the pain in his face. Oscar put forth her hand. He slipped away. He slipped away from her like in one of those nightmares in that you ran and ran, but never catch up with the person that you so desperately tried to reach.
�No�� she whispered and shook her head incomprehensively.
�No!� He tried to protect her from something that she did not understand. �I love you!� her shout resounded through the darksome street.
His stature melted into the darkness when he turned around once more. Hidden in the night, a tear streamed lonely from a blind eye. �Don�t try to find me a second time!� Andr� turned his back towards her and left the dark alley.
Oscar glided down the wall slowly and sat down on the rain-soaked pavement regardless of the cold wetness. Tearblindly she stared into the night. Resistance stirred and overshadowed the desperation. She would not give up, under no circumstances.
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